My problems I've been having are far from over. I just don't know how to handle it. I just have to accept what happens, and get on with life. Isn't that how life works??

My sis and her family will be moving into my grandmother's house because they are being evicted out of this apartment. My mom told me it was temporary; that they'd just be there til they find a new one. That's a load of shit. With how much they procrastinate, and how lazy they seem to be about stuff, it will take them an entire fucking year to leave!! I know I can't handle that, seriously! And I refuse to move back into the shithole that my actual house is, so I need to go apartment hunting myself. With Josh. I hope. I dunno that he has anything saved up, and I know that the savings I have begun are for my car, but I think it would be good to start now, rather than at the last minute, to talk to him about this. His dad told him that he's living at his house til he's 21, and he'll be 21 in June of this year, so that's not that far away. Plus I need to find out if he's really willing to stay with this relationship. Cause I can't bear to have stayed with him this long, with expectations for the future, and find out that he just can't do it. I can't handle that right now.

Oh, the problems I talked about in the previous posts, and the one I mentioned in the first paragraph don't have anything to do with my sis and her family needing a place to stay. These problems started waaaaayyyy before I knew this. Just to let ya know.

Work is going ok. Lately it's been sucky, but that's related to the unmentionable issues, so I can't really talk about that so much. I apologize for that, and that I'm not my usual self, but these past few days/weeks have been weird, and these past few days (especially) have been a strain to me, so I'm not as happy go lucky as I normally am. I hope to be back to myself again tomorrow. But, I will admit that I kind of have lost my blogging touch. I haven't done it regularly for a while, so it'll be kinda difficult to get back on track. I need this outlet, and even tho I can't quite deliver all my news, I want to let you in on everything else. I feel terrible that I just kinda let you hangin on here. I'm very sorry about that. And I appreciate you guys caring about me. That helps so much!! Thank you so much!!!

Anyway, I need to get home now, so I'm hoping to be back tomorrow with good news!! (See, I'm trying to be all happy and shit now!! ) Okay, I really must go. Have a great night!!!!

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Be A Fool
Cynthia Heimel

"We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement." --Viktor Frankel

Heh, I'm using all of Mel's smilies too. I hope she doesn't mind!

So how was everyone's weekend?? Mine was actually pretty good. Nothing interesting to write about, but it was peaceful.

I'm not quite in the mood to write at the moment, but I hope to be back tomorrow. I'm not quite sure.

Anyway, have a wonderful night everyone!!

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"To live the greatest life, you have to let go all of the other lives that are possible. Sometimes I mourn for these lost opportunites. Like all the guys I could've loved in my life, and all the things I could've done instead of the one I do love and the things I have done. But then again, you can't go through life wondering what you've missed, because there's really no way to do it all. You just have to trust that you've chosen the best one." --My buddy, Crystal

Sorry, I know it's been awhile. I've been pretty busy, and had one hell of a lot of shit to think about. I've been really having serious thinking sessions about my life...and I'm at a very hard decision that will only get worse if I let it go on like this any longer. But....I can't do anything about it at the moment for the timing. And I have such a hard time making up my mind. This just sucks.

So, anyway, I don't mean to be boring, or really serious or cryptic, but I'm really trying hard not to let this interfere with my well-being, but it is a very stressful situation. I really can't go into much detail, for the sake of others who may stumble upon here, but do know I'm about as okay as I can be. Ok? Ok then.

I am feeling a bit better since I've said that, so that's good. I really wanted to blog more, but I really don't have that much time. I'm sorry.

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day! And have a wonderful weekend!

"You never want to match a face to an ass." Aaron Karo, Ruminations #23

I probably won't be bloggin too much lately...I've been indisposed for awhile...So the bloggin will be light, until I can get back to normal with it. Sorry guys! I'll try to get quotes or something, at the very least. Again, I'm sorry. I dunno when I'll really be able to blog for a good time, uninterrupted. I'll try, tho, dammit!

Anyway, here are some quotes for ya:

"The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself."
---Rita Mae Brown

"He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger."
--Roman Gary